Growing Quickly

So here we are, 7 months on from the birth of my daughter. The last few months have passed so quickly and she has grown so much and is developing so much every day.

I can’t believe it has been so long since I posted. Life seems to move so quickly in our house now that weeks seem to blend into months.

It is hard to recognise Isabelle now from the little bundle of joy that was born during the summer. She has gone from me being able to hide her under my arm to kicking and wriggling her way around the room, we’ll be seeing her crawling any day soon the way she is moving. And if she can’t get to where she wants she soon lets you know, in fact I think the whole street knows!

It is amazing to see how active Isabelle is and how much notice she takes of what is happening around her. Whether it just at home or when we are out shopping. It’s even possible for us to take a walk to our local pub and stop there for a couple of drinks while the surroundings keep her entertained meaning we can keep in touch with our friends and maintain some form of social life without feeling like we are avoiding people or trapped in our own living room. Obviously we can’t be as socially active as we once were but the now other opportunities open up to us and we are developing a whole new social life involving Isabelle in everything we do.

Everyday now she seems to be learning something new, as am I. Every moment that passes she amazes me with her new found skills, whether its playing with her toys, chattering away to herself or taking in her surroundings, whilst I’m learning about all the different things that are around that could be harmful to her if we don’t put them away, or the simplest of things that can keep her entertained for that little bit longer. Every day seems to come and go in a blur and I don’t want to miss a thing. For every moment of frustration she gives to me there are 10 moments that make me laugh and smile. And its these moments that I want to relive over and over again.

Out of the Shadows

Its amazing the things that we miss and take for granted as adults.

Isabelle has now started focusing more on her surroundings and what is happening around her. One of her main points of amusement at the moment is following the evening shadows on the lounge wall.

Our lounge is east facing and we look out over the fields so we get to see the sun set on an evening. Now that we are moving into autumn and the sun is a little lower it casts a shadow onto the walls through the tree in the garden and it is this that is keeping her amused. She will sit in your lap or lie on the floor and watch as the shadow of the tree dances on the walls in the evening light.

It is things like this that make you realise how lucky we are and what we take for granted. I’ve now found myself sat quietly in the room with no TV or radio on and just watching the walls myself with Isabelle sat with me. I’ve found it very calming and relaxing and now whenever we are out for a walk I make a point of stopping and showing Isabelle the different shadows the world has to offer us.

We’ve started playing all sorts of games now with different coloured toys and pictures. Even just sitting there with a magazine for Isabelle to look at and focus on the contrasting colours and images on the pages.

As she grows and starts to show more interest in her surroundings then the amount of what you would normally think are useless become items of entertainment value keeping us both amused and out of trouble for a little while at least.

Social Butterflies

It’s only now that you begin to realise how much of an impact having a baby can have on the rest of your life. You don’t realise how much influence such a small, helpless baby can have on your decisions.

No longer can we decide at the last minute to go to the cinema and catch a movie or go out to a restaurant for me a meal.

Whilst having Isabelle hasn’t completely restricted our social activities, it has meant that more thought has to be put into where we can go and what we can do. Although all of our friends have been brilliant and fully understanding when we’ve had to turn down their offers it does make you feel guilty to be letting them down and, sometimes, a little jealous of their freedom at the same time.

But with this restriction on the things we can’t do its starting to open up a whole new world of things we can do. It’s also made us appreciate what spare time we do have to spend together even more.

I’m sure over the coming weeks and months we’ll find even more things to do and meet new people along the way who we have a little more in common with. But whatever happens we will be sure to keep in touch with our friends now who have been so supportive and caring and made the effort to make sure that when we do get out seeing them that the trip has been worth the wait.

Visiting Hours

The feeling of getting your new born home is a great one. You leave the hospital full and trepidation and anticipation. All sorts of thoughts run through your mind about how you will cope. But once you get home that all disappears and you set yourself to do the best job you can at raising your child.

We spoke about how we wanted to make sure we got ourselves into a routine as soon as possible to try and make life easier for all of us. So when we got home we arranged things to try and make it all as simple as possible with minimal effort. Well, as minimal as possible with a new born baby in the house.

However, during that first week trying to set ourselves a routine became slightly more difficult than we imagined as we underestimated the number of visitors we expected to come round calling. All through the week we had different members of the family calling round to visit and meet the new arrival. Whilst the visits were and presents were all very much appreciated there were some times when we just wanted to be left alone in peace.

I had already joked with Clare a couple of weeks before that we should hold an open day where everybody that wants to visit gets a 20 minute time slot, and if they miss their slot then tough. As the week wore on this idea began to sound even better, although it was a little late by then.

Its hard during those first few days, we had a couple of restless nights while Isabelle was settling into her new surroundings and we began acclimatising to becoming parents. The steady stream of visitors’ means that you can’t really settle into a routine and or take chance to just sit back and relax when the opportunity offered itself. But it is great to know that you have all these friends and family around to support you should you need it.

I’m sure there will come a time when we may need to call on some of them for babysitting duties!

Does anyone else find going into hospitals daunting? Whether you’re going to visit a friend or relative or you’re going in for yourself, walking through the doors my stomach always sinks and an anxious feeling comes over me. Well, this time it was even worse, I had spent the best part of 9 months preparing for this and no matter how much I told myself I would be fine, I still got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

We were quite lucky in that Clare had a relatively quick labour. The whole process was fairly speedy taking a total of about 7 hours from going into labour to arrival. This helps with the nerves slightly as you have less time to think about things and worry because everything seemed to happen so quickly for us.

Although there were some minor complications along the way and the birth didn’t pass without a little bit of help from the mid-wife and her team. For which we couldn’t thank them enough. I think the job that they do is a little understated and whilst at the time you think they are being slightly abrupt and rude with you, you have to remember that as the father you are not the primary concern, it’s the mother and baby that matter.

When we initially arrived at the hospital we thought we would just get checked out and sent home as Clare didn’t feel like she was in labour but after being examined and then set up in a room on the maternity ward we knew that we were in the home straight as far as it being just the two of us. Soon enough we would have a new addition to the family.

This had to be one of the most exciting and nerve racking days of my life. It is hard to describe the emotions that I went through during the day but I think I covered most of them, from nervous to excited, sad to happy, scared to relief. They were all there throughout the day in hospital from the moment we arrived to the time I finally left in the evening, the proverbial roller coaster.

So, after a slow start to the labour and after a little nudge from the mid-wife who had to break Clare’s waters, Isabelle finally arrived at 5.53pm weighing 7lbs 3oz. The day had been a draining one both physically and emotionally and that was just how I was feeling, I don’t think I’ll ever understand the emotions that Clare went through during the day.

Without a doubt though the overriding emotion of the day was that of joy, the moment that I saw my baby daughter every other thought and feeling left me. All the panic and nerves dissolved and I was stood there holding my little girl, I couldn’t believe that we had produced something so small and fragile.

I just stood holding her and staring at her for what seemed like an eternity before I was snapped out of it by the mid-wife who needed to take her off me to do some more checks. I couldn’t have been happier.

Eventually Clare and Isabelle got moved onto the maternity ward and I left the hospital for the evening. It was a strange feeling walking out of the hospital on my own to go back home for what would be my last night alone before I brought my daughter home.

Its Time....

Well she arrived, finally, a week later than expected, and hoped for by my wife. The hot and humid summer days that we’d managed to have in the couple of weeks leading up to the due date hadn’t done Clare’s mood any good, with all the hormones flying around and the fact that getting around was now becoming more difficult due to her size. I just keep my mouth shut and supported her all that I could.

I was remarkably relaxed leading up to the due date and not fazed by the prospect of the birth and becoming a father at all. We chatted about things like how our lives were going to change and about being scared of actually having to grow up and behave like the responsible adults were supposed to be. I’m 29 and my wife, Clare is 25, and up to the birth of Isabelle I was by the far biggest kid in the house, Clare will probably tell you all I’m still the biggest kid in the house!

Being a week overdue meant I was on permanent standby at work with my mobile never too far away, with most of my colleagues seemingly more anxious than I was every time it rang. We had an appointment with a consultant a couple of days after the due date as we had had some concerns during the pregnancy, so they brought us in for a check-up, where they confirmed that everything was fine and that we were 2cm dilated. So things were moving in the right direction, albeit a little slowly. The consultant gave things a helping nudge along and carried out a sweep. Which I have to admit I found a little off putting, sitting in the room whilst Clare disappeared behind the curtain with the nurse and the consultant so they could carry out the exam and sweep.

A couple more days of minor contractions and not a lot else a visit to the local mid wife was due. I didn’t attend this but not long after the appointment I received a phone call from Clare, things had moved a bit more and we were 3 cm dilated. Now at this point, this didn’t really mean a lot to me despite all the books I’d read, websites viewed and advice given but the lads at work who all have kids seemed to get very excited by this fact and telling me that I should be getting home as birth could be imminent. So, after a quick chat with Clare, she assured me there was no panic and after a little bit of Google research I’m calmed the frayed nerves of my work colleagues and finished the day as normal. I left work that night and agreed that I would work from home the next day as it appeared things were moving in the right direction.

So there I was working from home with the expectation that we could be racing into hospital at any time but nothing of any note happened all day. That evening we went for walk where Clare was suddenly getting sharper and more regular contractions (up to this point they had only been mild and anything but regular), I suggested we phone the hospital and see what they thought but Clare said the contractions weren’t regular enough and she talked me out of it. By now I was starting to get more nervous and excited as Isabelle had obviously decided that the time to meet her parents was getting closer. We went to bed as normal that night and although Clare was having more intense contractions the frequency had dropped. Knowing that I would be at home the next day I took the opportunity for a bit of a lie in, I’m normally out of the house by 5.30am. So I made the most of it and stayed in bed until I got woken abruptly by Clare at about 7am.

She had been up for about an hour with her contractions, been to the toilet and had a ‘show’ so decided it was time to call the hospital. We were told to make our way in but there was no rush, so we had breakfast, double checked the bags to make sure we had packed everything and then steadily made our way in. By now, I was getting more and more nervous, with a million and one things running through my head; have we got enough clothes, is the cot suitable, is the house organised and ready, more importantly, am I ready for this?! I stayed calm and hid my anxiety from Clare, I thought the worst thing would be for her to see me getting worked up as she was already nervous and stressed.

So here we were, on our way into the hospital where we about to enter a whole new world……

Through a Dad's Eyes

The idea of documenting Isabelle’s development and progress came to me within the first few days of her life. Already within a couple of days of her birth my life and Isabelle’s had already changed so much and whilst photos and videos can frame a snapshot of what we were doing at that particular time they don’t tell you the story behind my personal thoughts and feelings.
 

So, I decided, that the best way to document and map out my thoughts so that I can revisit them, or Isabelle may even be interested herself in what I was thinking about as she grew up, was through a diary which I will turn into my blog and share our incredible journey with you.

I really hope that you enjoy my thoughts and feelings on fatherhood and would love to hear from you with any feedback or advice and thoughts that you have on the subjects that come up along the way, especially those fathers out there that are going through the same things as me and Isabelle.